Painkillers
by whitecrossgirl
Summary: Everyone thought the reason Emily took as little pain medication as possible was because it had no effect on her. The truth was that painkillers actually had a little too much of an effect on her. Slight H/P
1. Chapter 1

**AN: The thought of this just made me laugh. A lot. Enjoy.**

The general consensus was that the reason that Emily refused painkillers was because they never worked on her. After a few years in the BAU it wasn't questioned anymore and most EMTs didn't get a chance to even offer her some anymore because either Hotch or Morgan let them know it would be a waste of time. No matter how badly she was injured, Emily was given as little pain medication as possible because it apparently had little to no effect on her.

However today they found out the truth as to why Emily never took pain medication. It wasn't that it didn't work on her. The truth was that they tended to work a little too well.

The case had been a local one which brought the usual double-edged sword. On the one hand not having to go cross-country meant they worked reasonable hours and slept in their own beds. On the other the fact a serial killer was working practically in their own back yard put more pressure than usual on them to catch their Unsub. Of course in the end they did, but not before their Unsub got a chance to fight back. There were no serious injuries and indeed the real fun began when they got back to the bullpen.

By the time they were ready to leave, Emily was sitting slumped in her chair. Her head was craned back, turned towards the ceiling and she was using her toes to lightly spin herself around, giggling as she did. It took the team 0.2 seconds to realise something was seriously wrong.

"Emily, are you alright?" Reid asked and Emily gave a wide grin back.

"I-I am awesome." Emily replied in an airy tone which indicated she was anything but.

"Are you drunk?" Morgan asked, a touch of concern in his voice. It was quickly forgotten as Emily laughed and shook her head.

"I wish. I got- I got- I dunno what I got but it was goood." Emily replied lazily, drawing out the last word. A few feet away, JJ realised what had happened and turned to Hotch and Rossi; her expression almost being one of panic except that JJ didn't panic. Ever.

"She's been given painkillers." JJ explained and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at their lack of response. "Despite what she says, Emily can't take painkillers because they make her as high as a kite. Trust me, I've been her High-Dialler for the past few years, she will be like this for hours."

"So what do we do?" Hotch asked as Emily attempted to ruffle Reid's hair and Rossi pulled out his phone, only for JJ to slap his wrist and shake her head in a 'don't you dare' manner.

"Get her away from Reid for a start, he looks terrified." JJ replied and Hotch nodded, walking over to Emily and standing over her.

"What did you get given?" Hotch asked and Emily pulled a face.

"I dunno. But you need some happy pills." Emily retorted and Morgan quickly stopped a burst of laughter escaping him as Hotch's eyebrows almost lifted into his hair. "Well you do. As sexy as your whole tall, dark, handsome, tough guy in a suit thing is; you look better when you smile. And sexier. Now if you'll excuse me bossman, I'm busy."

With that Emily began spinning her chair around again; Hotch looked at the team to see Reid looking awkward, Morgan and Rossi trying not to laugh and JJ looking at Emily with concern all over her face. This was the equivalent to drunk-talking for Emily which meant there may or may not be a certain amount of truth in her speech. Hotch blinked and turned his attention back to the matter of hand which was his stoned co-worker.

"Ok you need to go home or lie down somewhere." Hotch said as he reached for Emily's hands and helped pull her to her feet. Once she was standing, Emily attempted to bat his hands away.

"I can walk," Emily argued but the pain medication coupled with the dizziness from the chair spinning meant she stumbled about two steps before she fell forward and Hotch caught her again, pulling her close to his chest. He attempted to put her arm around his neck but it was clear she wasn't going to do much walking. Hotch himself had injured his right arm so he couldn't carry her and so he turned to the rest of the team.

"Feel free to help anytime." Hotch said but Reid and JJ were too busy trying to ensure nobody else got into the bullpen; Emily shouldn't have anymore witnesses to her stoned state. Morgan was too busy filming this on his phone and Rossi simply smirked at Hotch.

"You seem to be handling this fine to me." Rossi retorted. Hotch bit back a curse and turned his attention back to Emily. She was quite light he reasoned and whilst he couldn't carry her on his bad arm; with a bit of pain he was able to lift her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift which would allow him to put her on the sofa in his office so that she would hopefully sleep the meds off.

"You didn't even buy me a drink first." Emily slurred as Hotch turned and began walking towards his office. Emily looked down and with her free hand managed to slap him hard on the backside.

"Emily!" Hotch said but Emily ignored him in favour of looking up and around for JJ, spying her at the door.

"Told you it was firm!" Emily called, groping Hotch's ass again as Hotch carried her into his office and set her down on the small sofa. "Sex in the office? I shoulda known you've some fetish. You'd be boring otherwise."

Hotch decided not to dignify that with a response and instead went over to the cabinet and pulled out a blanket from one of the drawers. He had put it there after one too many nights crashing in the office. Hotch set the blanket carefully around Emily who was curled up in a ball and finally seemed to be coming down from her high.

"You know what? You're nice, not a douche at all. I thought you were a douche, but you're not." Emily mumbled groggily as her high seemed to be rapidly turning to exhaustion.

"Thanks, I think." Hotch replied as Emily attempted to sit up and failed, slumping back onto the cushions again.

"Is good. I like nice Hotch better than grumpy Hotch. He's a butthole." Emily claimed and despite being referred to as a 'butthole'-what was she? 6?- Hotch smiled at Emily.

"I'll keep that in mind." Hotch said as Emily nodded sleepily.

"You should, otherwise I won't like you anymore." Emily said and with that, she promptly passed out on his sofa. Hotch watched her sleep for a few moments before he turned and quietly slipped out of his office. The rest of the team were still there and he looked at each of them before taking Morgan's phone and deleting the video he shot.

"None of us ever speaks of this again. Agreed?" Hotch said in his usual no-nonsense tone and the team looked at each other and nodded their heads.

"Agreed." They said but as the team left, Rossi smirked at Hotch again.

"I think it's safe to say we learnt something new about Emily today. Didn't we?" Rossi asked and Hotch glared at him and shook his head.

"Shut up Dave."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This is for Southrun Lady and everyone who asked for a sequel to the last chapter. **

It was a few weeks after the Painkiller Incident and the team had kept to their agreement to never mention any of what had happened when Emily was under the influence of ibuprofen. The team were all in the bullpen working on paperwork, talking, slightly goofing off and taking advantage of a fairly quiet day. Emily however frowned and rubbed her temples as she felt the increasing pain that signalled an oncoming headache.

"Are you alright?" Morgan asked, pausing in his game, which was a kind way of describing how he and Reid were throwing pens, scrunched up paper and the occasional stapler at each other.

"Just a headache," Emily dismissed as Reid managed to hit Morgan in the side of the head with a roll of sello-tape before turning to Emily.

"Shouldn't you take something for it. most painkillers take effect rapidly due to the-" Reid's offer was cut off with Emily shaking her head.

"No point, painkillers don't work on me." Emily said and this statement prompted Morgan to start laughing and Emily looked at him sharply. "What?"

"They don't work on you? Are you sure about that?" Morgan asked teasingly as Reid realised what he was referring to and looked at Morgan with a slightly worried look.

"We promised not to talk about that." Reid said, regretting that as Emily rounded on him looking curious.

"Talk about what?" Emily asked as Reid gave his best caught in the headlight look and rapidly shook his head.

"Nothing," Reid denied quickly as Morgan looked at everything but Emily, not even trying to hide his amusement.

"Reid…" Emily began firmly and Reid kept shaking his head.

"Nothing! Nothing happened at all." Reid insisted as JJ came out of her office to fetch paper for her printer and overheard him.

"Nothing happened when?" JJ asked, joining in the conversation.

"When Emily got into a fight with painkillers and lost." Morgan laughed, his laughter not stopping when Emily turned to him, starting to get annoyed. All she had said was that she had a headache and now there was some running joke about her and some night she couldn't remember.

"Ok what the hell is going on?" Emily demanded as she considered what Morgan said. Whatever happened, she had been given painkillers again. Only JJ knew that they sent her ten kinds of crazy. Right?

"It was after the Summers case, you know when you got hurt. Well the EMTs gave you painkillers before we could stop them and well, you know what happens when you have painkillers." JJ explained to Emily who looked horrified. She could handle any form of alcohol; vodka, beer, tequila, whiskey, hell she could even drink absinthe but painkillers was a whole other story.

"What happened?" Emily asked only to be met with silence. "JJ!"

"You were just saying stuff." JJ offered and Morgan sniggered.

"She did a little more than that." Morgan said as he picked his tablet off his desk and began tapping at the screen. Morgan handed the tablet to Emily who watched in horror as an image of herself, clearly having been recorded on a phone, appeared on the screen. she was spinning around on her chair and Hotch was standing over her.

"…_look better with a smile. And sexier. Now if you'll excuse me."_

Morgan and Rossi's laughter could be heard behind the camera as Emily spun herself around on the chair. Emily stared, mouth open in horror as her recorded self attempted to stand before falling back against Hotch. JJ and Reid watched over her shoulder and Emily slowly shook her head. This wasn't really that bad; she'd said worse before.

Then Emily watched as Hotch had to lift her in a fireman's lift and her free hand flew to her mouth, almost dropping the tablet in her shock. It only got worse as she watched herself slap and grope Hotch's ass whilst praising its firmness to JJ. The camera quickly turning to show JJ biting her lip but looking amused before turning back to show Emily being carried into Hotch's office and the door shutting afterwards.

"_Priceless…_" Morgan could be heard saying before the video stopped. Morgan reached over and took the tablet off Emily as she sat back down in her seat, headache long forgotten. JJ had told her beforehand what she was like when under painkillers but she'd never actually seen proof of it until now.

"Oh my god," Emily said, rubbing her forehead and looking at the others. "What happened after that?"

"Nothing, you blacked out in Hotch's office. Stayed passed out until the end of the day and he and Rossi took you home." Reid explained gently and Emily nodded. That did happen when she was on meds and explained why she couldn't remember anything the next morning. She had hoped it was because they'd all gone out and gotten amazingly drunk and she'd miraculously skipped out the hangover.

"Morgan please delete that. You shouldn't have had it anyway." JJ said, snatching the tablet off Morgan, unlocking it and deleting the video herself. Morgan looked chastened but brightened when he looked at Emily.

"Look at this way, it could have been worse." Morgan reasoned before smirking. "Besides Hotch hasn't issued a sexual harassment case against you so that's something."

Emily tossed her hole-puncher at Morgan and turned her attention back to her work in order to avoid further conversation and/or humiliation as well as use her hair to hide her now-scarlet face. Damn her pale skin. As she tried to work, Emily thought about what she'd seen in that video of her and Hotch; not just the humiliating things she was saying but also how Hotch actually didn't seem to mind it. She hoped he didn't. Surely he would have known she wasn't herself and what she said was practically drunk talk. After about half an hour, Emily decided that she needed to talk to Hotch about this properly and so headed up to his office.

Hotch was finishing up yet another case file when there was a knock at the door. He glanced up to see Emily standing outside and called her in. He knew at once something was wrong; she was playing with her hands, primarily her nails-her tell. Hotch gave Emily a kind look and gestured for her to sit down.

"Bad day?" Hotch asked and Emily shook her head.

"No, not like that. I just found out something, something I did a few weeks ago that I'd like to apologise for." Emily replied. it took Hotch a few seconds to work out what she meant and quickly dismissed it with a shake of his head.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. My brother Sean's a drunk talker and believe me, I've heard worse." Hotch replied lightly, he could tell how embarrassed Emily was feeling but in all honesty; he hadn't minded too much about what she had said and did a few weeks ago.

"Yeah but it's also what I did as well." Emily replied before sighing. "Morgan showed me the video on his tablet."

"I thought I deleted that." Hotch said before giving Emily a small smile. "Seriously Emily, don't worry about it. We all react to different things in different ways; there is a reason why Dave steals my phone when we all go drinking."

Emily smiled back at him, feeling a bit better. "You drunk dial people?"

"Not all the time. anyway you have nothing to be sorry for. Except for calling me a what was it? oh yeah, a 'butthole'." Hotch said with a smile, laughing as Emily looked shocked.

"No I didn't." Emily argued and Hotch nodded, still smiling.

"Yeah you did. It was up here. I helped you onto the sofa, gave you a blanket and you said that 'Grumpy Hotch was a butthole' before blacking out." Hotch recalled and Emily put her head into her hands.

"Kill me now." Emily said and Hotch shook his head.

"Can't do that I'm afraid." Hotch replied and Emily managed a small smile before she stood up again. Now that she knew everything that had happened the other day, she had to admit she felt a bit better about it. Yes it was embarrassing but she was grateful that Hotch was OK with it and she had to admit it was sweet to know how he had taken care of her instead of just leaving her in her stoned and crazy state. Emily walked over to Hotch and quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks Hotch," Emily said smiling.

"Anytime," Hotch replied, smiling back as Emily left his office.

Emily returned to her desk, ignoring Morgan's gentle teasing and Reid muttering under his breath as they worked. Not long afterwards her phone buzzed with an incoming text message which she quickly opened.

_Drink tonight after work? Hotch_

Emily smiled at the screen and quickly tapped a reply before continuing with hr work.

_It's a date x_

**AN: I did want to put in some more H/P but I couldn't fit it in right. Sorry but I hope you enjoyed it.**


End file.
